Cleanest Place in the Quarter

Six years ago, I was a recent transplant to New Orleans. I was green around the edges for things like the Streetcar, fantastic food, music on the street, and sometimes the Quarter. I often find the Quarter completely overwhelming at night.

I thoroughyl enjoy google images!

My mind shoots into sensory overload as the sound of loud music comes from a trendy tourist shops and the people dance on top of tables at the Goldmine. I love the quarter during the day. It is rare that in any other city a person can find rare antiques, a costume shop, a novelty store, the fanciest restaurant ever, and an Asian massage parlor all in the same block. Needless to say, I have developed a bit of a love-hate relationship with the Quarter (who hasn't?)

Six years ago, I learned to appreciate one aspect of New Orleans at night and that was Krewe du Vieux. It is my official kick off to Carnival season and a wonderful tradition with two of my closest and dearest friends in New Orleans. What a fabulous way to start off this debaucherous time of year than cheering on floats dedicated to the Vile Things of New Orleans with a highlight on our most recent governor. Best of all, they give out condoms with the Krewe of Spermes!

kreweduvieux.com

This past Saturday as I am prancing through the Marigny from Frenchman to Decatur, my friend Kaycee was rattling off the fun parts and rules of Mardi Gras. 1. Be friendly with the Krewes and they will be friendly back. 2. The key is to find a spot, rally with a group, walk around, try to find your friends and pick up some reunited acquaintances along the way. 3. Be flexible and able to move through crowds of people. 4. Don't be shy! Rule 3: Have a spot where you can go to the bathroom! This is important. The last thing anyone wants is to walk around the French Quarter looking for a place to pee. I was able to hold it down until we ended up at Barracks and Decatur in front of the Mint. The lines for every single place was long and you had to buy coffee at 10:00 at night in order visit with Lou. I figured that I was screwed and was preparing to wake up the next morning with a bladder infection. I would rather be infected than use visit the voodoo Lou's in the quarter. I tried to give this warning to a recent addition to our Mardi Gras tradition, Jeremy. Jeremy was following all of the rules quite well. He kept up with the crowd, was friendly to everyone, and found a place to urinate without going into someone's driveway. I was perplexed when he disappeared for 5 minutes and returned to our spot relieved and holding a really good Bloody Mary. His words, "you were trying to warn me, but the place up the street has an upstairs, no line, and the best damned Bloody Mary I have ever had!" I decided to wait, I didn't quite trust this newly transplanted gentleman from the west coast. And then it hit me, I couldn't wait any longer. (Sigh.) I decided to just bite the bullet and walk up there. The group followed.

Enter into the American Sports Saloon.
It was pretty packed on the first floor, people were fairly nice, and I headed towards the back and attempted to open the one stall bathroom. Locked! I stood and waited and waited and was starting to feel like the combination outcome of sports bar and French Quarter bathrooms was not looking too bright. A girl walked down the stairs and said, "go upstairs." Sweet relief! Upstairs is bright. Upstairs is clean! Upstairs there is an individual sink in your stall.

(I am a huge sucker for the private sink-in-stall creation.) After a long and dirty night, I found myself giddy with the delight at finding a place in the quarter that did not require another tetanus shot. The white tiles and the clean slate on the floor made me feel safe in the madness of the quarter. As I exited, found my crew, I could not take the time to even remember if Lou offered me some foam soap. The bartender, though, did offer a mighty fine Bloody Mary.